Swinging Etiqutte and Safety in New Zealand
Swinging is based on respect for those involved on many levels. Those who are in the swinging lifestyle are consenting adult couples who are looking for fun and safe sexual adventure to spice up their relationships. There are basic rules those who enter this lifestyle follow. It is good to know them before you start your journey into swinging.
You must respect your partners feelings
To begin with if you are interested in swinging but your partner is not then you can not pressure them into it. If one person is forced into swinging then it usually leads to disaster. This is because people need to feel secure and confident about swinging. People who do feel this way going into it will only feel worse, not better if they start swinging.
Privacy Please
Be sure to guard your privacy and the privacy of others. One way you can do this is by never speaking of swinging with anyone outside of the lifestyle or those seeking information to become swingers. Discussing swinging with people outside of the lifestyle tends to lead to a myriad of issues for you and those you participate in swinging with.
Being Lawful When Swinging
Make sure you and those you are swinging with do not participate in any illegal activity while swinging. This is for your safety and the safety of others. It is also to protect the lifestyle. Swinging has a negative connotation with some. Having it associated with illegal activities only adds to certain people’s incorrect ideas about the lifestyle.
If you are in a club always adhere to the rules set for the location you are at. If a club is does not allow for sex on-site then you need to make sure you do not break the rule. Having sex in some locations can cause it to be shut down. It could also result in you getting arrested for having sex in an unauthorized area.
Communication is Key
Always discuss and set parameters with those you will be swinging with. This is the best way to respect all of those involved. Different people may have different things they will or will not consent to while swinging. Knowing these issues and abiding by everyone’s request to certain boundaries is the only way to swing.
One of the issues which should be discussed prior to have any sexual encounter with another couple is what type of swinging the other couple is into. There are those who only practice what is called “soft swinging” where only oral sex is performed. Then there are others who practice “hard swinging” where penetrative sex is involved. In with if those situations couples may prefer to do these acts in a “closed swing” situation where partners are swapped but have sex are in different rooms. Then there is the option of an “open swing” situation where all parties involved have sex on the same room.
There may be times when you and your partner choose to have a sexual encounter with a consenting single. The same rules of respect and prior discussion apply in these situations. Do keep in mind that another discussion which is usually touched on in these circumstances is if the single person is bi-sexual or not. Never assume a person is or is not and not ask prior to having sex. Not discussing these matters can lead to awkward and sometimes upsetting situations after sex has begun.
Respect the other relationships
Never try to break up another couple. People who get into swing are looking to enhance the relationship they are in. They are not looking for an emotional replacement. If you are ever in a situation where you are thinking of attempting to break up a couple then the responsible thing t do is not see that couple any longer. You may also wan to take a break from swinging to examine your current relationship to see what led you to these feelings
A Clean Swinger is a Desirable Swinger
Those in the swinging lifestyle abide by rules to ensure everyone is treated with thoughtfulness, understanding, and common courtesy. Therefore when going to a swinging venues and engaging in swinging sexual acts it is important to treat others as you want to be treated. Also be sure you bathe and take of your oral hygiene needs prior to attending a swinging event. No one wants to have sexual encounter with some with offensive body odor or breath.
No Means No
You should only participate in activities you are comfortable doing. If you are asked to do something you do not care to do simply say “No, thank you”. You do not need to have an explanation and you should not require one of those who may say no you. Everyone should expect to have a no answer respected and not be pushed onto doing anything they do not want to do.
Keep in mind that anytime you are meeting with another couple for the first time that there should be no prior commitment to having sex. All parties should agree that sex will only be had is all parties agree to do so after the meet up. Never have sex with another couple just because you feel obligated to after a meet up. This is a quick way to have a bad experience which could ruin you on swinging.
Being a Good Guest
If you are attending swinging event at someone's home it is polite to ask what you can bring. This is because it takes a great deal of supplies to accommodate a group participating in swinging activities. Also be sure to pack any personal hygiene products and items such as condoms in a bag to take with you. It is impolite to assume that since you are going to someone’s home for an event that they will be providing these items for you.
Be sure to use condoms for everyone's protection. Do not be offended if the others you are engaging with sexually ask you take other safety precautions such as using dental dams for oral sex. The idea is that everyone be comfortable and have fun in a safe environment.